“There midnight’s all a glimmer, and noon a purple glow,
And evening full of the linnet’s wings.”
–W.B. Yeats, “The Lake Isle of Innisfree”
Around the glimmering lake, where birds still sing,
though you’ve been gone for many a year,
I stayed and watched as linnets take wing.
Once I longed to wear your ring–
before things changed, I sought you here,
around the glimmering lake, where birds still sing,
You promised the sun, the moon, and everything.
before the bad times came and settled near,
I stayed and watched the linnets take wing.
I realize now, I was just a fling
though I thought you loved and held me dear
around the glimmering lake, the birds still sing
Here at my side, our baby did cling
without a father. She brought me untold joy and cheer–
I stayed and watched the linnets take wing.
I dreamt I was a queen and you my king,
before you sailed far from my pier
around the glimmering lake, where birds still sing,
I stayed and watched the linnets take wing.
Faye Collins, “Pine and Fog at Thirlmer”
Somewhat related to today’s NaPoWriMo prompt, I’ve stolen Jane Dougherty’s idea, so it only seemed right to base my villanelle on her beloved Yeats. In the spirit of the prompt, this one probably needs a lot of revision! 🙂
I’m also linking this to dVerse, where Sarah is hosting for the first time. She’s asked us to write an ekphrastic poem (which I’m not sure that this is) based on the work of artist Faye Collins.
Yesterday and today: Merril's historical musings 
Well, I think this works on every level. I think the words and the image work together really well, creating that atmosphere of yearning melancholy. Thank you for dropping by and sharing my first prompt!
Thank you, and you’re welcome! 🙂
Nice repeating lines and this one: “You promised the sun, the moon, and everything.”
Thank you very much, Frank!
It’s a beauty, Merril. The only revision I would do would be to get some of the longer lines to behave themselves. The atmosphere is gorgeous! Isn’t it strange how this type of poem always seems to end up being about lost love? Perhaps it’s the most universal of emotions.
Thank you, Jane. And thank you for the idea. Yes, some of the lines are a bit unruly. I did chop some, but we’ll see. I was kind of playing about with line length. . .
I didn’t set out to write about lost love, so perhaps you are right. 🙂
I’m very conservative about formal poetry. If it’s meant to have lines of a particular length I stick to it and keep the rhythm all the way through. Like the rhymes. If the form calls for rhymes, I rhyme. I know other people pick and choose, but to my mind they’re writing a different kind of poem. Not that it matters in the slightest.
I tried to keep the rhythm and the rhyme scheme. Are the lines supposed to be a certain length? It seemed like they were different, otherwise, I would have kept to them. I will have to go look again. But not today–still need to get some non-poetry work done! 🙂
I think it’s usual but not obligatory. I suppose it’s just whatever sounds right 🙂
🙂
I like this, Merril.
Not mournful, but certainly more than wistful.
Thank you, Ken.
There must be a word for that!
A lovely villanelle, with sadness and longing for a lost long gone love ~ Am glad you take comfort in nature & birdsongs ~
Thank you very much, Grace.
The poem is not about me, but I do love watching and listening to birds! 🙂
This needs to be sung, perhaps with a mandolin. Lovely, Lovely, lovely! And bravo for doing the villanelle.
Thank you very much, Jilly!
Now I need to find a mandolin player. 😉
Can’t really go wrong with Yeats as inspiration. It does have the quality of a ballad somewhat. This poem also has a good “mouthfeel” which I know is a culinary term and one I’m not overly fond of, but it somehow fits to the pleasant way the words sound themselves out.
This is such a lovely comment. Thank you! I love that you think this poem has a good “mouthfeel!”
And I think you’re right about Yeats.
Love how you weaved a narrative and put it into a villanelle… such a classic touch to this poem
Thank you very much, Björn. The form seems to lend itself to that type of story (to me anyway). 🙂
Superb, especially use of refrain. Would plaintive fit the bill?
Thank you, Derrick. Plaintive is a great word. It fits for me. 🙂
🙂
This is such a good match to Jane’s poem! The longings attached to birds…(K)
Thank you, Kerfe. It’s funny because when I wrote mine, I really didn’t remember hers. 🙂
Full of yearning, and beautiful. A lovely lament (if such a thing is possible).
Thank you, Robin. I think it’s possible. 🙂
Aww, this is a heartbreaking and touching poem! It was bittersweet, as much of life seems to be. . . I like that you chose a murky, misty lake and those linnets will have to be looked up as soon as I get away from blogging, Merril.
Thank you, Robin. I was working from the Yeats’ line and poem, so that’s where the references came from. I’m glad you liked it.
I think I recognize from your poetry the Yeats’ style but not a specific poem.
Merril, I found a sad fact out about linnets in England! There has been a drop by 57% of their population. . . I’m not sure if I have seen this variation of a finch. They sure do look pretty! I have spied the Rose colored (they wear a bib of pinkish rose) grossbeak around OWU campus.
Too true of many creatures, Robin–unfortunately.
Yes, the article was from British article about the UK.
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What a beautiful villanelle, Merril! Well done!
Thank you so much, Sarah!
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