Secrets and Dreams

Monday Morning Musings:

“The women of our family will come to me in dreams at night”

From Kadya Molodowsky, “Women-Poems”

“The difference between film and memory is that films are always false. But memories mix truth and lies. They appear and vanish before our eyes.”

Bi Gan, Long Day’s Journey into Night (2019)


See the shadows

in the purpled light,


they cry,

once we smelled the rain,

drank in sunshine,

saw beauty in a smile.

Once we wanted—

something, anything,



we were

more than whispers

and dreams.


It’s a week—again—

of sunshine and rain,

of baby geese

and peace

that hasn’t come.


We remember

six million dead

and others who’ve fled

brutality, in fear,

and it’s clear

the world’s still full of fear

and some things never change.


A Jane’s walk

on archeology

and history—

mysteries solved


by digging underground.


They talk of science,

and physical evidence

and the sense

we make of them–

fragments unearthed.

But I hear the whispers of ghosts

how many bones

rest there beneath the cobblestones?

In the privies, are relics of meals,

crockery—and it feels

astonishing to resurrect their world

But I wonder about their dreams

and what they hoped for,

and it seems,

I hear them say,

once I walked here,

listen, I’m near.


We walk through parks

and alleyways

where a horse is led

(his time for bed?)

There a man dressed as

Thomas Jefferson,

I say,

let’s see Franklin Court again.

Weddings, bride and groom–

the air perfumed

by rain and flowers,

there, skulls remind us

of limited hours—

so, we’ll enjoy ours

while we can.


Enter a caption

We watch movies of secrets

and dreams,

people who lie in court

and to their spouses,

try to thwart

the system,

afraid to say what really was.


A prosecutor’s search–

he wants Nazis tried

and justice applied,

but he’s got his own secret life,

living apart from his wife,

and there are bad men

(some renowned)

who want to take him down.


We watch a film of beauty

and mystery–

noir turns to a dream

and we’re not sure what we’ve seen,

but like it all the same,

movies, transitory, like a flame,

but the thoughts about it remain,

and so we wander and ponder


as life goes on,

I bake and cook,

and read a book,

drink some wine,

hope things will be fine–

even as I read racist posts

in disbelief

of the ignorance

of supporters of the Twitter chief.

Still, there I see the baby geese,

and listen to the birds sing,

while I wonder

what the future will bring,

I pet my cats–

wish I could be content as that.


In my dreams,

the women of my family

come to me,

mixing truth and lies

in memories, time flies

and what was, still is,

and what wasn’t–might be,


as the ghosts murmur,

we’re here,

we wait,

we watch,

like the trees,

as time twists, turns,

and disappears.


I’ve been lax in giving you movie suggestions. 🙂 We saw three movies this weekend, two on Netflix, and one in a theater, a multi-cultural mix. I liked all of them. On Netflix, we watched, A Separation, a 2011 Iranian movie and  The People vs. Fritz Bauer, a 2016 German movie.  In the theater, we saw the Chinese movie, Long Day’s Journey into Night.   It’s really impossible to describe what this movie is about, but it’s like being in a dream. Definitely see it in a theater. The theater where we saw it does not have 3D, but even so, it was extraordinary. I’d like to see it again.








22 thoughts on “Secrets and Dreams

  1. Memories mix truth and lies … oh, that is why I struggle so much with my memories, especially when they don’t stand up to what others remember. As always, I love this musing of yours on Monday. I told a friend this weekend about how I’ve created a list of the movies you’ve seen (Merril’s Movie List) and add them to my Netflix queue. But we haven’t watched any movies in weeks. Down here in Florida, where the days are getting longer and the temps are comfortable, we’re in back porch season. Most of our time together is now spent on the back porch where we have dinner and sit and talk. And talk. And talk. By the way, our favorite red is Malbec 😉

    • Thank you so much, Marie. I’m pleased that you enjoy my musing (and movie selections). Your back porch time sounds wonderful! We have a big backyard that we don’t use because we don’t have a deck or patio, and it is always so buggy.

    • Thank you, Derrick. It’s true–and even if you think it’s an accurate memory, it’s still colored by your own perceptions–and perhaps the passage of time. I’ve had the experience in which I thought I’ve seen a movie because the book created vivid pictures in my mind. 🙂

  2. Those inanimate ghosts always linger as a nudge to memory true or not so true – How we respond to them is what matters, and how they animate us, … thanks Merril –

  3. Love these Monday Morning Musings. I saw that movie listed in my “special” movie theatre but now that the golf club is open and I am inundated with moving issues, going to see a movie is not gonna happen. Sigh. I might have to check out the Netflix ones. Maybe 😉
    I love the opening quotes – especially the second one.

  4. Sometimes our memories seem like ghosts. I think your knowledge of history helps you to see how it continually transforms itself even as the core remains.
    I read a review of that Chinese film and it did sound intriguing. Not that I ever go to the movies…

  5. Memories… so unreliable at times (maybe most of the time!).
    Beautiful musings, as always. The tour sounds fascinating. The baby geese are adorable. And my movie queue on Netflix continues to grow. 🙂

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