In the dew-dappled dawn, promises fly,
rising up in murmurations, flowing
into space, tracing patterns in the sky
turning into misty clouds, then throwing
shadows back onto dreams. But then knowing
that the moon rises as the sun sets still
and the earth yet revolves–and will–and will
beyond our mortal lives. So, starlight gleams,
we watch it speckle bright the night—until
it seems, our dreams grow luminous streams.
I haven’t been around much lately at dVerse, and I’m sorry for being so behind in reading. I have a lot going on right now. This is my first attempt at a dizain, this month’s poetry form at dVerse.
Your first attempt is lovely, Merril!
Thank you so much, Linda!
It is! It’s a different approach to the dizain, and I like it a lot. It flows and breaks in the right places and the rhymes don’t draw attention to themselves.
Thank you very much! I had forgotten what I read about the form and just kind of went with what Frank said about it. So, that might be why it’s different–ignorance. 😉 But I’m pleased you like it.
No, it sounds right to me. I can hear this without it clunking where the syllables ran out 🙂
Oh, that’s good! 🙂
I love this, Merril. The ten lines, the ten syllables, all coming together with a beautiful rhythm and the visions it evokes… Love.
Awww—thank you very much, Dale. I had never tried this form before and just started writing–sometimes that works. 😉
It worked for me!
Beautiful, Merril! It flows perfectly with the gorgeous photo. Have a nice weekend.
Thank you so much, Jill!
Thank you very much.
Nice line: “and the earth yet revolves–and will–and will” with the repetition at the end. I also enjoyed the sound overall especially the internal rhyme in the last line.
Thank you very much, Frank!
what a sky! Your flow is really beautiful, as are the images. (K)
Thank you very much, Kerfe. That was the sunrise yesterday morning, and then I walked out to get the paper and walked in the dew. 🙂
What an opening line!!
Thank you very much, Derrick! 🙂
Excellent word-smithing Merril. The build a Dizain with almost every line enjambed, is not an easy undertaking. Eschewing the support of a measured line meter, and still making the piece work – bravo!
Thank you so much for your very kind comment, Rob. I truly appreciate it (and I apologize for being so behind on reading).
It’s a very lovely first attempt!
Thank you very much, Rosemary!