My mother’s voice is soft now. Her words slur and drift off in a breeze. But today she laughs, and the sparrows twitter and chirp, carrying that laugh up to the sky.
Dawn rises giggling
rose-tipped clouds streak summer sky—
shadows dance on ground
For dVerse, where De has asked us to write a quadrille (a poem of 44 words, any style) using the word voice.
Beautiful rose-tipped clouds. And that mother’s laugh – so precious and fleeting.
Thank you very much, Grace. Yes, it is.
Sweetly melancholic Merril. Lovely.
Thank you, Holly!
You’re so welcome!
Treasure it 🙂
Aw…love this, Merril.
Thank you very much, Jill!
This is beautiful, Merril, from the sparrows in your mother’s laugh to the melancholy shadows of a sunset that dance, nonetheless.
Thank you so much, Ken. Life seems to be that way these days.
Great Haiku — all the lines worked together beautifully.
Thank you! It took such a long time to write that haiku. (I think they’re really difficult to write.) I’m glad it worked.
Oh my, yes. The attention to detail shows.
Thank you so much!
I love the deep feeling of life and death in your haiku! So well done!
Thank you very much, Dwight!
I have a lump in my throat after reading this, because of its beauty and other things.
Thank you very much, Marie. (I need some kind tremulous smile emoticon.)
I’m so glad you still have her voice Merril. (K)
Thank you so much, Kerfe. I know you understand.
Beautifully done. And like the pink sky, your mother’s voice is to be treasured.
Thank you very much! Yes, it is.
Enjoyed the perspective of this Merril. Just because the voice grows weaker, there is still much t be said — and to be listened to. Thanks for sharing your voice in this. Well written!
Thank you, Robin!
This is so, so sweet. I can hear that soft laugh, and love the personification in this:
“Dawn rises giggling”
I like how you describe your mother’s laugh being carried to the sky by those sparrows.
Thank you very much, Frank!
This prose was sweet with laughter carried into the sky by sparrows a special image. I feel the sadness beginning contrasted with brightness of sky lightening. Lovely poetic expressions in this quadrille, Merril.
Thank you very much, Robin!
Oh I used to love those days before my mother died… treasure those days.
Thank you very much. I am. She was much better yesterday and we sat and talked all afternoon. I know it won’t last.
So beautiful. I love that the birds carry her laughter upwards.
Thank you very much! My mom has a wonderful laugh.
Beautiful stark division in the haiku, from light back to shadow, circling back to where the Haibun started. Expansive emotional range, like a David Lean film, an epic centered on the personal. Your poem evoked this song by Lucy Dacus for me:
Thank you very much, Lona. High praise indeed. I don’t think I’ve ever had my work compared to a David Lean film before! 🙂 Thank you for the song link, too. I didn’t know of her.
The range goes from the skies to the corners, thus the epic emotional range, I do recognize that Lean’s set design is more complex 😉
😉 I wrote a post once that involved my ancestors, snow, and Dr. Zhivago. That movie is full of iconic images.
I just watched Zhivago this week, perhaps why the evocation. Could you give me the link to that post? Sounds interesting
Here it is: https://merrildsmith.wordpress.com/2016/01/25/it-snowed-and-snowed-i-can-see-russia/
Thank you, Derrick.
touching and a visual treat through words.
Thank you very much!
surely you are most welcome… it was a pleasure to read you