Image Credit: © Ritu Bhathal
the glow said to me–
work and time
dragging me down. But light
keeps shadows at bay–
memories, they stay,
in moonlit places–
still slither into my dreams–
till dawn, and I’m free—
dance the way we did
we moved, kissed, together said
words of love, now gone.
A shadorma sequence for Colleen’s Tanka Tuesday, using Ritu Bhathal’s photo prompt.
Thank you, Derrick. I see what you did there. 🙂
This is so beautiful, Merril!
Thank you, Jill!
Such a bittersweet sequence.
It started out as sort of a horror thing, but then it morphed into this. 🙂
I thought it was going to be horror, but you turned it round nicely. It gives the poem more depth.
Thank you! 🙂
Oh, I love how you brought us round from potential horror to lovely memories.
And Shadorma, eh? Course I had to look it up… Do they have variations on the syllable count? I am constantly learning from you!
Thank you, Dale.
I used to write lots of shadormas. Someone even did a shadorma challenge a while back. I don’t think there’s a variation in syllable count (did I mess it up?)– It’s 3/5/3/3/7/5 but there doesn’t seem to be one phrase per line, as in haiku.
Ummm… check your 2nd and 3rd stanzas 😉
Oops. Oh well. I guess I was rewriting and got confused. . . I never could count. 🙂
I’m not going to change it.
I sure hope you don’t… 😉
Thank you! 🙂
But thank you for catching it! 🙂
It’s only because you are constantly teaching me new stuff… I had to look it up and well, couldn’t help but catch it! I feel bad, now.
No, you shouldn’t feel bad. I mess up form poetry a lot. Sometimes I actually have to make myself a template because I can’t keep track of syllables or rhyme scheme or whatever.
Does it really matter, in the end?
I think if the poet and her readers enjoy it, who cares? 😉
It only matters if you’re submitting it as an example of a form. 😉
Of course. Rules and regs and all that stuff 😉
So remember, if you submit THIS one, you’ve got 4 syllables to remove 😉
And most journals also say you can’t submit if you’ve posted it on your blog. . .
Ah well… that settles things, then 😉
My goodness. The poem is beautiful and takes me to a better place. And the picture goes with it so well. Great work! Thank you for sharing!
Thank you very much for your lovely and enthusiastic comment! Much appreciated.
Stunning, Merril! Moon-glow, indeed. 😍
Thank you very much!
I really like your blog. A pleasure to come stroll on your pages. A great discovery and very interesting blog. I come back to visit you. Do not hesitate to visit my universe. A soon 🙂
Thank you for stopping by!