This moment–sparkling.
Monday Morning Musings:
“Nourish beginnings, let us nourish beginnings. . .
This moment, this seed, this wave of the sea, this look, this instant of love.”
-from “Elegy in Joy [excerpt]”
Muriel Rukeyser – 1913-1980
In the slow sailing of time
and the dazzle-dance of stars
in all the afters
and the befores
we find connections
heroes still live
chasing one another for eternity
unable to escape
though larger than life
and immortal
(as long as we see them)
even if they vanish
in the rosy blush of morning
like the dew
like the second that has just passed
never to return.
But this instant,
and the next,
a beginning each time
like this seed
a burst of lavender and yellow
comes again, crocus then daffodil
through the years,
four seasons,
one birthday to another
we celebrate you
we celebrate us
a special dinner,
cake and presents,
you smile
say you’ve been thinking Vera, Chuck, and Dave
but I’ve brought you a bottle of wine
and you’re still my Valentine
I still need you and feed you–
let us nourish beginnings,
the moments that pass too soon–
my mother tells me my father wrote songs
she says she knows they’re his
though they say anonymous
because they’re about her,
the moments they had
when he saw her
and she could still see
and the doctor can fix her eyelid
but not her sight
or her green eyes
dimmed by time
almost a century
our oak tree even older,
and ghosts dance beneath its boughs
where we had a swing,
a yellow baby swing,
somewhere in time
maybe it exists still
gently swaying
a rippling memory
like old window glass
of what was–
and I could connect them
the present and the past,
Wavy window glass of the Merchant Exchange Building, Old City Philadelphia, 2020 Merril D. Smith
and then that moment
would pass, too
elusive like a ghost.
Does my mother really see him
my father?
In the movie
the women are bound by the past,
broken by war
wanting to nourish new beginnings
will they heal
connect to something more than ghosts?
They are filled with emptiness.
And she is frozen.
What happens to the ghosts
when past moves to future?
We watch a show of future times
space ships and androids,
but still there is war.
Treachery seems to fill the skies
everywhere, so we look for heroes
in the stars
and watch their dazzle-dance
and mark the passage of time
with cake
as we nourish love, drink–
and so, the seconds pass
from birth to death
all the in-betweens
seeds to flowers, kittens to cats,
stars explode and are reborn, connected.
***
Random bonus cats.
Cats and reflections! Philadelphia.
Sometimes we like each other.
Merril’s Movie Club: We sawJoJo Rabbit on Prime. I think my husband liked it more than I did. Not that I disliked it, but. . .I’m not sure if it worked. It’s hard to laugh about Nazis. Parts of it I did, and the little boy in it is wonderful. We saw Beanpole in the theater. Another one that is difficult to say, “I liked it” because of the subject matter, but excellent acting–the two leads especially are astonishing–but also the whole cast. It is definitely a bleak movie set in post-WWII Leningrad, but I can’t stop thinking about it.
We started watching Picard, even though I really don’t want to pay for another streaming service, but Patrick Steward as Jean-Luc again and daughters are watching it. . . and yes, that is an Enterprise pizza cutter with our homemade pizza.
Yesterday and today: Merril's historical musings 
Among your splendid imagery “a rippling memory like old window glass” stands out for me. I liked the nod to The Beatles, too 🙂
Thank you very much, Derrick!
I imagined you of all people getting the Beatles reference. Thanks for proving me right. 🙂
🙂 Once I wondered what it would be like when I was 64.
🙂
This is such a joy on a Monday to arrive and treasure your words in Musings. Your words are relateable and moving.
I love the part of your mother saying your father wrote songs about her. So sweet!
Life is busy in my life, as I am chauffeur to Lara to H.S. (Landen’s sister is 15 and drives ME after school) and then, Hendrix to preschool. My DIL is taking Landen this week to outpatient chemo.
I work part-time for Felicia, nightly cleaning the county engineering building. My Mom thinks my “Dad is close by, often outside doing a project.” Love is eternal, I believe.
I like “Sanditon” but really like “Vienna Blood” on Sunday PBS. (They have been on before someone says.) I love your pizza cutter!
Thank you very much, Robin. I appreciate that you’ve stopped by when you are so busy, day and night! I hope Landen is doing well.
My parents were divorced, but my dad was the love of her life–and I think she was his, too. Now she thinks he’s alive–it’s kind of sweet and creepy both. 😉
I’ve been recording Sanditon, but I haven’t watched it yet. The pizza cutter was a gift from daughter and son-in-law a few years ago.
What a beautiful read on a Monday…its just so natural…i could even see myself sitting with those lovely cats.
Thank you so much!
I was sitting with there–the grey striped one was on my lap, and then the white one took my place. 🙂
You make the most of your moments,” this instant, and the next,” connecting art, events, the ripple of reflection in the glass, food and wine with husband.
By the way, I did not like the ending to Sanditon, not true to Jane Austen, in my opinion. Thanks for the movie suggestions, as always, Merril. Have a wonderful week!
Thank you for your lovely comment, Marian.
I’ve recorded Sanditon, but I haven’t watched any of it yet. 🙂
The repetitions in this and the word choice (dazzle in particular) makes me think the Oracle had a hand in this. The imagery is beautiful. I like the window glass image too.
Thank you very much. I couldn’t seem to get it started this morning, so I visited the Oracle for a few minutes, and then I found that poem, too.
It’s so funny about the windows. I’ve walked by that building so many times, but maybe not from that direction or something, but this time I just looked up and saw that glass. . .
Old glass with ripples and bubbles in it is beautiful in its own right, not like modern glass that’s about as mysterious as a glass of tap water.
Yes, it is beautiful. I think it was in my mind, too, because before I saw it, I had listened to a story where the narrator mentioned the wavy glass windows in her apartment. Another coincidence? 😉
Nope. Destiny 🙂
Hahaha. Yes. 🙂
🙂
Your musings are particularly lovely this morning, Merril!
Filled with love and beautiful moments to cherish…
Thank you very much, Dale. I had a difficult time getting it started today. 🙂
Well, I, for one, cannot tell 😉
That’s a good thing. 🙂
🙂
Beautiful musings on this dreary and rainy Monday, Merril. What a bright light in the day. I also loved your photo of the Merchant Exchange Building. The blue sky reflection is fabulous! Thanks for sharing.
Thank you very much, Jill!
I was pleased with the photo, too!
It’s sunny here, but I think we’re getting your rain tonight or tomorrow.
It’s a gorgeous shot!
Merril, your writing, the detailing of a day, is a delicious morsel too beautiful for words.
Oh Rene, what a lovely, delicious comment! Thank you. ❤
As usual, you pained a vivid picture in my mind’s eye and sent shivers up my spine. Thank you for the tingly, lovely words. And hugs to your beautiful mother. ❤
Thank you very much, Rachel!
Beautiful poem! We must nourish the new beginnings. I really do appreciate them more as a I get older.
Thank you so much! Yes, age does make one appreciate many things we take for granted when we’re young.
We have that Enterprise pizza cutter, but even that can’t convince me to pay for CBS All Access. Today, I cut the cord to DISH. We’re trying YouTube TV at less than half the cost, but we’ll miss out on HISTORY. HULU has it, so that’s an alternative. We already have Netflix and Prime.
We have Netflix and Prime. Right now, we’re watching the free trial. We will probably pay for a couple of months, and then cancel. 🙂
Our NBC affiliate cancelled negotiations with Dish last fall (they wanted more from DISH). Repeated calls about paying the same without that station went nowhere. Today, since I was cancelling, they offered $480 service credit as a longtime customer, spread over a year, with no guarantee the new rate wouldn’t rise $5 – $10 within that year. (It did so twice in the last 12 months.)
I got tired of the game. Many cable channels
and all the 4 local network channels are available on YouTube TV, with fast forwarding if saved on the cloud DVR.
Good luck. It’s all so confusing. We have Verizon FIOS, so we have “regular TV,” as well as Internet through them, but we also pay for Netflix and Prime, and we watch them on TV through a Chromecast device.
Love love love the ghosts flittering about your melodic poem! Humor, love, sentiments, etc.; you find them all in your sweet musings. Cute photos of your expressive faces. I want to pinch your cheeky cheeks. 😉
Thank you, Rose. Lots of ghosts about.
cheeky cheeks 🙂
😁