The sun rises, the horizon a crimson flame–
red sky in morning, tonight comes the rain.
Yet still the robins sing, in tree branches lifting
skyward, boughs and birdsong, lifting,
shifting as the sun’s rays flame
the world in gold before the rain.
And in these hours, before the rain,
when eyes and voices are lifting,
down below the daffodils burst alive and flame–
and robins hop amidst the flame of flowers, lifting, winging, before the rain.
This is a tritina for Jane Dougherty’s Poetry Challenge. She asked us to choose three words from a poem by Francis Ledwidge. I chose flame, rain, and lifting. I might be having a having a hard time concentrating on forms, but I also think this is a difficult form—for me, at least.
It’s lovely, and it doesn’t sound as though it gave you any trouble at all. Very much in the spirit of Ledwidge’s poetry. I love ‘as the sun’s rays flame the world in gold before the rain.’
Thank you very much! I’m pleased it doesn’t sound labored.
Not at all 🙂
Thank you again. And for the challenge. I feel like I accomplished something today. 😀
I did some gardening today. We put a few more things in. I don’t know where they come from but there’s an army of pots full of stuff waiting to be planted out.
Oh, secret garden elves!
Whenever I prune something I always keep the pieces and stick them in the ground. Husband collects the offshoot of shrubby things like bay and hibiscus. The stuff just multiplies. I have seven rose cuttings to put somewhere in the hedge maybe and about twenty vine cuttings.
Wonderful! I don’t garden at all. . .but I’m very good at admiring. 😏
I’ve broken two trowels so far this year. You dig in, pull back and the thing snaps in two. It’s the soil, it’s a compact slab of clay.
We also have tree roots that extend out.
They extend the world over 🙂
The poem has such an ease to it, no sense that you struggled with it. It is indeed very lovely and reminds me of how much our backyard birds sing up a storm before a good rain.
Thank you so much, Marie! The birds are singing a lot now–though I’m not hearing them at this minute. . .because it’s raining!
Send some rain our way, please 😉
Sorry, I think it was headed north. Maybe I can ask the Oracle for you. 😏
Absolutely superb! The imagery of the crimson sun before the onslaught of rain is beautiful. When there’s a downpour, birds will still rise, and nature will prevail.
Thank you for your close reading. ❤️
I spent some time trying to understand just how a tritina worked (coz, you do that to me, Merril). It all became clear when I read this lovely poem that – OK, I’m no expert – but didn’t feel forced at all…
Aww–thank you, my friend! 😘
You did a great a job!
Wonderful gentle rhythm. A meditation. (K)
For some reason you have disappeared from my reader. I’ll see if I can re-follow.
Thank you very much, Kerfe.
The WP gremlins at work again. 😏
I have a hard time getting a flow with a tritina, but yours works very well. You’ve definitely captured spring.
Thank you very much, Ken.
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flaming sunrises and daffodils are a beautiful thing!
Thank you very much! I agree.