so it flows
to earth and sea,
flaming grassy meadows,
with photons streaming, gilds a tree.
Though shadows loom below, we let them be;
pretend we do not see the coming of the night,
but live, walk, talk—and love, the apogee
of our beings—humanity
with stardust traces glows
dim. . .grow
This is a diatelle for Colleen’s Tanka Tuesday. This week she wrote:
“Let’s make this challenge truly a poet’s choice! Use any syllabic poetry form that you’d like. As long as there are syllables to count, you’re good to go! Be creative. If your form is something new, teach us how to write it. Have fun!”
I know she doesn’t normally do rhyming forms, but this is definitely syllabic, and I know Colleen likes shapes, so I hope this is OK. 😀 Mine can probably use some more work, but I’m posting it anyway.
I found the form, created by Bradley Vrooman, on Shadow Poetry.
“The Diatelle is a fun, syllable counting form like the etheree with a twist. The syllable structure of the diatelle is as follows: 1/2/3/4/6/8/10/12/10/8/6/4/3/2/1, but unlike an ethere, has a set rhyme pattern of abbcbccaccbcbba. This poetry form may be written on any subject matter and looks best center aligned in a diamond shape.”
Maybe everyone does this, but if not, maybe it’s helpful to see. I made myself a template to keep track of syllable/lines and rhymes. I do this for many forms.
b2 comes, goes
b3 so it flows
c4 to earth and sea
b6 flaming grassy meadows–
c8 with photons streaming, gild a tree
c10 though shadows loom below, we let them be,
a12 pretend we do not see the coming of the night
c10 but live, walk, talk–and love, the apogee
c8 of our beings–humanity
b6 with stardust traces glows
c4 but faintly—see?
b3 The flickers
b2 dim, grow
I love process-behind-the-creation when it’s easy to convey. (We all know the muse isn’t always a rational based being!)
Great poem and photo.
Thank you so much, Laura. And yes, about the Muse. 😏
Merril, this is excellent! Syllabic rhyming poetry with a set rhyme pattern has always fascinated me. The Diatelle sounds like fun. So, how does this work? a1 and a12 and a1 all end with words that rhyme. b2 and b3 rhyme, etc. I’ve never connected well with rhyming poetry. They always sounded so contrived to me. But, your poem is quite profound. Maybe next year we’ll branch the challenge into syllabic rhyming poetry with some different rhyming patterns. I love it! ❤
I like how you bring this right back around to the light (comes, goes / dim…grow)).
Thank you, Ken. The poem just sort of evolved, but yes, I like that, too.
I was reading it, thinking it looks like a double etheree (how cool I even know that?) but I didn’t count the syllables and didn’t immediately notice the rhyme – or did but didn’t, if you know what I mean!
Then you said it was a diatelle and I thought, darn it… she’s gonna challenge me again (one day) 😉
All that to say, this is lovely and thank you for your template example!
Thank you for the compliment and the chuckle. No challenge–unless you want to. I took Colleen’s comment as a challenge to myself. I can’t count or keep track of rhyme schemes, so I always make a template for complicated forms. I don’t know if everyone does that or not, but I thought it might be helpful to see. 😀
No challenge… you never (almost) challenge me but I look at some of them and think, one day…
And I love that you make a template to keep yourself on track!
I couldn’t write these forms otherwise. Sarah at dVerse made one when she was hosting the villanelle form. It really does help.
Smart. And one I shall use, should the inspiration hit 😉
I’ve never even attempted a rhyme scheme, just the occasional internal rhyme that happens by chance. The template seems like a very good idea to make the process of writing a rhymed poem easier.
Yes, I need it for the rhyme and also for the line/syllables. 😏
If I get to the point of trying the form, I’ll need a template as well!
This is so awesome Merril. I admire your writing so much! 🤗
Aww–that is so kind! Thank you, Rene. ❤️
❤️ you’re welcome!
Light within light then light in darkness. Lovely poem.
Thank you so much, Jane. I just read your poem that has light chasing away the darkness. So we were on the same wavelength. 😀
That’s strange, weird even now you mention it. When I read your poem I had a feeling of déjà vu! I thought I’d read it before. There’s obviously something in Damien’s theory 🙂
Or it’s just normal. 😏
I’m beginning to think it’s perfectly normal 🙂
Yes. I think so. 😀
Beautiful poem and photo. I’m not familiar with the diatelle at all. Thanks for breaking it down like that.
Thank you, Cheryl. You’re welcome. I just discovered the form while browsing.
Wow! This is beautiful Merrill. I appreciate the way you broke it down, as this is new to me. You did a fantastic job.
Thank you so much, Jill!
I need templates for complicated forms. 😀
I can see why! 🙂
You know I love circles. And another lovely light filled photo.
I like the idea of trying different forms…and then I default to shadorma. But Colleen is right, we should be more adventurous. (K)
Thank you very much, Kerfe. Yes, circles and light. 😀
I don’t know why, but I just wanted to try something new, and I liked the examples given for this form. I had no idea what I was going to write about either, I just started writing. . .
The light does transform the mundane. A beautiful poem Merril. I hope you’re okay.
Thank you very much, Jude! Yes, I’m fine. Thank you for asking.
That looks like an awful lot of work – so well worth it. You even managed unobtrusive rhyme.
Thank you very much, Derrick.
This poem is very impressive, both on an emotional level and a technical level. Brava to the poet!
That’s very kind. Thank you very much, Liz.
You’re welcome, Merril.
Lovely poem (and you already know I love the photo). Thank you for sharing your template!
Thank you very much, Marie–and you’re welcome!
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Great poem Merril, hard to do. I find rhyming poetry a challenge. Will have a go…
Thank you very much!
I don’t have trouble with rhyme, but the syllable count and assonance instead of true rhyme made this tricky.