
After the longest night–
float a barque
on moonbeam seas, sail
past stars, glean
ghost-light of
yesterday, interlace dreams
with glimmered visions–
prophetic
muse! Sing aloud the
birth of sun
from shadow-
world–light candles, flicker-flames
to recall your hopes
barque-breezing,
caught in spindrift. Soar
moon-bound, star
searching, un-
barred, braided with sparkling dreams
to glide heart-sworn home.
Tonight is the first night of Hanukkah, so this is a December-flavored shadorma sequence of light and hope for Colleen’s Tanka Tuesday challenge using synonyms for Kerfe Roig’s words, mingle and drift. I’m also linking this to dVerse Open Link Night, where Björn is hosting a live event.
This is a beauty! I wish the sky was clear tonight so I could see the barque sailing!
Thank you very much!
Check on it tomorrow night. 😀
I will, but it’s rain gain normally 😦
This is gorgeous, Merril! 😀 I love; “Sing aloud the birth of sun from shadow-world–light candles, flicker-flames to recall your hopes.”💝💝
Thank you so much, Sanaa!
We’ll be lighting the first Hanukkah candle soon–but I’ll think of your birthday, too! ❤️
Ohh 😀 thank you so much, Merril! x
Happy Hanukkah!
I do love those light in the dark… now we do need every light we can get.
Thank you. This time of year, we do. And I know it’s even darker in Sweden.
What a beautiful sequence! I love the second shadorma! Great words of hopes. ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you very much, Colleen. I’m pleased you enjoyed it.
You’re so welcome. ❤
❤️
I love the way this soars!
Thank you very much!
“moonbeam seas, sail
past stars, glean
ghost-light of
yesterday, interlace dreams
with glimmered visions–“
You brilliant poet, you did it again. You pull us into the life of imagery that is evocatively haunting; the phraseology of “moonbeam seas, sail…” (which can read as an alliteration), “ghost-light”, “prophetic muse!”, “barque-breezing”, and must I go on and on and on and on? I might as well just copy/paste the entire poem here, it is beautifully eloquent! Your words immersed me entirely and what a joy it was to hear you read it in the live poetry reading today.
And as you know, I always love your sea imagery. It’s mesmerizing, along with the moon too. I love the whole tone and mood of this poem, it’s like embarking on an adventure; the excitement of it, the finally going home, the happiness… It is all so perfectly captured. I think I also see the influence of Walt Whitman in this piece? Maybe I am reading too much into it. 😉
Just this morning, I was reading another poem (whose author I unfortunately cannot recall) about Chanukkah which was providing more of a focus on it, as they stated in their author’s note, since other holidays (Christmas) can overshadow the different customs and traditions in the holidays of different religions. To sum it up, I was so happy you wrote a poem about Chanukkah!
Such a beautiful, beautiful piece. Never cease writing. You are amazing. ❤
Oh my goodness! What a lovely and amazing comment. Thank you so much, Lucy. When I’m doubting my skill as a poet, I will return to this one for sure. 😘
I definitely was not thinking of Whitman, unless it was totally unconscious.
I’m not religious, but I love the Hanukkah candles. I have a collection of menorahs, so it’s quite beautiful to see them all with burning candles. But we also have a Christmas lights, and I’ll probably burn a solstice candle, too. 😏. All part of light in the darkest time of year.
Beautiful, Merril…perfect for the first night of Hanukkah. Chag Urim Sameach!
Thank you very much, Jill!
Bella! Loved hearing you read this tonight, Merril.
Thank you so much!
You’re welcome.
Didn’t realize it was shadorma sequence while I listened (did you mention it in advance?) but finding out here, reading, seriously enhanced an already stellar piece. Congrats. Looking forward to more. MORE, PLEASE.
Thank you so much, Ron! I appreciate that enthusiasm. I’m not always a big fan of forms like this, but I like it when I can use enjambment and make it into a sequence.
Like a magic cosmic dream. (K)
Thank you, Kerfe.
Shadorma perfection … your live performance as well.
Thanks so much, Helen!
What I like about this is knowing there is light beyond that “longest night.” We may be entering the depths of winter, but there is always the promise of spring.
Yes, I agree. Thank you, Ken.
To me this reads like a beautiful and heart-soothing lullaby: ‘barque-breezing,/
caught in spindrift. Soar’ love how you’ve used enjambment so the lines flow seamlessly. Really enjoyed hearing you read!
Thank you so much, Ingrid!
I think I much prefer writing form poetry where you can use enjambment.
I so enjoyed your reading of your beautiful shadorma sequence, Merril, so good you read it twice! I love that you used the word ‘barque’, not a word that’s used much these days, and the thought of gleaning ghost-light of yesterday and interlacing dreams with glimmered visions is more than appealing. The phrase that stood out as you read and stuck in my mind is ‘flicker-flames to recall your hopes’.
Thank you so much, Kim! I appreciate your kind words.
I read the poem to my husband while we were having dinner (because I’d left the paper on the table). He was totally confused because he thought I meant the bark of a tree. . .🤣
Happy Hanukkah to you and family Merril! I feel the light in your words and the lighting of candles ..
Thank you very much, Susan.
Dreamily flickering light
Thank you, Derrick.
Happy Hanukkah … and to me, your poem had the feel for the day. 🙂
Thank you, Frank!
It was a treat hearing you read this on the recording yesterday, sorry I missed everyone live! I think Lucy picked all the lines I liked with her comment 👏 There is some great wordplay and alliteration here that just makes the whole poem so soft to the touch. I want to wrap myself in this poem like a warm, fuzzy blanket, just mesmerizing!! ✨
What a lovely thing to say! I love that. Thank you so much, Tricia!
You’re welcome 💕
To be at home in the stars. So lovely, I love Shadormas, found your use of mid-line enjambment interesting, I found in the recording, when you weren’t forzen, 😉 that you followed the enjambments in the meter, I read it aloud, focusing on the breaks only in the lines to get the Shadorma rhythm. Both ways are fun! The rich images here let me sail back and forth from window sail upward gazing to the stars and back, holding always that hope of home. Reminds me a bit of the smells of your prior christmas baking poem I think I am recalling. Hope all your holdiays are joyful friend. 🙂
Thank you for your comment, Lona, and for your careful reading–and reading aloud! I tried to punctuate this very carefully to make sense, and then I tried to read the poem that way. But however you read it, I”m pleased you enjoyed it.
I bake all the time–challah and pumpkin bread this afternoon– so I’m sure it’s come up in a poem. 😀
Oh you are so prolific! I am having trouble finding it, but I will ☺️ It was full of scents and nostalgia from holiday baking and had a winter night painting of a home with smoke rising from the chimney
Thank you for the kind thoughts. I’m pleased it made an impression.
I tried, went back three years in your archive, didn’t find it, but I did discover your cranberry squirrel, and that was a sweet compensation. 🙂
Aww–thank you so much, Lona! The cranberry squirrel is so special, and I was sad not to see it “in person” this year.
There is a wonderful flow of words here.
Thank you so much!
This poem reminds me of something good from childhood, but it’s just beyond the reach of my memory. I think the poem is meant to be read loud.
Thanks so much, Liz. I may repost this with a recording at some point. WP won’t post my audio recordings unless I put them on Soundcloud.
You’re welcome, Merril. I hope you do post a reading.
barred, braided with sparkling dreams
to glide heart-sworn home.
I missed the reading part Merril, Ma’am. The sequence shows a right to follow a fully thought out poem that flows smoothly. I like that! And the last one brings it to a perfect close.
Hank
Thank you very much, Hank.