I’m weary, and sometimes the great bones of my life feel so heavy. The secrets that fill them are an extra weight I carry with me always. In the terror of those times, they were a fuel I swallowed eagerly, and they kept me alive then. How could I know that they would stay within, bricks cemented to my core?
We all had secrets. We were chameleons. Pierre/Paul/Hans—he had so many names. Were any of them real? Where are you? I’ve wondered for over a decade now. Oh, there have been rumors—he was sighted in Moscow, in Buenos Aires, in Singapore—but none of them have checked-out.
Yet, I can’t rest. I’m comfortable here in Maine, living on the pension from the job I’m not allowed to talk about. But I’m going back to France. I have one final lead to follow.
I’ve returned to my spies and Hopper for Linda’s prosery prompt at dVerse. She asks us to use the line:
“Sometimes the great bones of my life feel so heavy,” from Mary Oliver’s “Spring Azures.”
Yesterday and today: Merril's historical musings 
“bricks cemented to my core.” what a great line, Merril. I think I hope she finds him. Great painting by Hopper.
Thank you so much, Lisa. Yes, I’m not sure. I hope maybe she finds him, too. The painting is a bit different from some of his others.
You’re most welcome.
I do love this… a retired spy with a secret on-the-job romance that never can be fulfilled. Somewhere out there he might be… maybe looking for you.
Thank you so much, Björn. Yes, he might be. I really don’t know. 😀
“Yet, I can’t rest. I comfortable here in Maine, living on the pension from the job I’m not allowed to talk about,”… love this! This, right here, is solid proof that this is just the beginning to a great spy series 💝💝
Thank you so much, Sanaa! ❤️
Spies and Hopper are a winning combination! I do want to know more about this character’s back story, and what he will get up to when in France…
Thank you! I don’t know what will happen in France. 😀 And interesting, too, that in my head she’s a woman, but in yours a man.
Oh yes, why did I think that? How chauvinistic of me!
🤣 It could be a same-sex romance.
That’s also true!
I think this is the best installment yet!
Really! Thank you! 😀
🙂
Merril- love your spies! I was hoping you would write about them again. Wonderful.
Aww–thank you so much, Linda!
A great line for one of your episodes about the spies, Merril! Secrets are indeed a heavy burden, especially when it is made heavier by the terror of the war. She is so determined to find her man. I’m intrigued by the final lead that is taking her back to France.
Thank you very much, Kim! She does seem determined. I think she wants answers.
Are you going to put all the episodes together at some point?
I don’t know. Perhaps. It’s not really a cohesive story. 😀 I think it’s just something I’m having fun with.
I met a very elderly MI6 spy, she knew how to handle the belligerent nursing home staff … I can imagine her sneaking out to France to follow up that lead! Well done
Oh how cool! And thank you. 😀
she was indeed a fascinating character 🙂
I could see the spy as a woman from the get, but a same sex romance could be an exotic twist; smile. Your continuing story gets me prepped for Episode 128 of BLACKTHORNE this week.
Thanks. Probably not so exotic. She’s a woman to me because she was in the other stories–and Hopper paintings. Yes, you’ll be performing your saga this week!
Nice work, Merril. “..a fuel I swallowed easily…” but…
Spylicious.
Thank you, Ron. 😀
Nice suspenseful feel to the piece, Merril. I love the imagery of secrets being heavy.
Thank you so much, Luanne!
I love this. I’m looking forward to the next installment.
Great story Merril. I can imagine the life of a spy and the great bones of secrecy would be a heavy weight to carry. The life of a soldier would be the same. Perhaps that is why so many veterans commit suicide!
Thank you, Dwight. Yes, I think you’re right. She probably has PTSD, too.
Yes!
😀
Secrets do get heavier by the year. She will never give up I sense. (K)
Thank you, Kerfe. No, I think she’s very determined.
Nicely worded and intriguing
Thank you, Derrick.
A welcome return to your spies and Hopper! I wonder if she will make it back to France . . .
Thank you, Liz. I think she will, but I don’t know what she’ll find. Maybe more mysteries. . . 😀
You’re welcome, Merril. I’m always up for a good mystery . . .
😀
Yes, yes and yes! That is a great next chapter (so lovely that you leave it open for a next one 😉
I love that: How could I know that they would stay within, bricks cemented to my core? Such a perfect description for the things she cariries.
Thank you so much for your lovely comment!
Pleasure is all mine!
Entrancing story and great choice of words. I loved it, Merril. 💗
Thank you very much, Gwen!
Ooooh. How enticing…. and mysterious. Lovely read.
Thank you so much!
Couldn’t help but think of Mrs. Pollifax. She is my favorite spy (although she was hired to only be a courier)
Thank you very much. I know the name, but not the character.
Always love spy and mystery stories! Great use of the poetic line.
Thanks so much, Lillian!
This is intriguing prose AND I would like more ……..
Thank you so much!
Merril-
You’re such a good storyteller! This is awesome 🙂
-David
Thank you, David. 😀
Loved the intrigue and mystery captured in your writing. You made me wonder what was going to happen next!
Thank you so much!
A wonderful sketch of inner self.
Thank you very much.