Uncertain, Capricious: Shots in the Dark

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Monday Morning Musings:

There is still sorrow and dread
assuaged with sweets, and song, and bread
baked fresh; poetry written, and novels read,
Netflix binged, and movies seen,

  • Challah
  • No Knead Artisan Bread

yet, the days are longer and lighter,
shoots are rising, nature’s colors brighter,
and the crocus petals closed tight and tighter
open in the noonday sun, beside the growing green

geese nibble, pair, and rest
for goslings soon to come, at Spring’s bequest
color blooms–though winter’s winds still test—
March is capricious, betwixt and between

Spring-time. Geese at the Whithall House, Red Bank Battlefield. ©️Merril D. Smith, 2021

unsure of what’s to come, but what is not
in doubt is getting a vaccine, we get the shot.
With a jab, some peace of mind, who would have thought
the joy in scheduling? We’ve been

in a holding pattern for so long, the world in pain,
but now in spring with rising sun and gentle rain,
science promoted, the orange stain
demoted, the Oval Office sanitized, the government wiped clean–

Another Tree Spirit. ©️Merril D. Smith 2021

dreams can rise again. Not yet, but soon,
we may hug and sit together in a room,
immune, though not immortal, we bloom
like spring blossoms, and fighting demons seen

or not. Each step, uncertain,
a shot in the dark, but we draw back the curtain
and let in the light.

  • “Star-gulls” and Morning Moon. Delaware River at Red Bank Battlefield. ©️Merril D. Smith, 2021

Well, it’s still the pandemic, and we still haven’t gone anywhere—except to get vaccines. My husband and I both got our first vaccines on Friday. We were at separate places and received different vaccines. Because the weather is supposed to be springlike later this week, we may venture out to do some outdoor, socially distanced activities. It’s still cold this morning, but the sun is shining.

Merril’s Movie/TV/Book Club: We watched The Vigil (Amazon). It’s set in Brooklyn, and concerns a man who has left the Hassidic world but agrees to be a shomer, a person who watches over a dead body for a night. There he confronts real and psychological demons. It’s a horror movie, but not the mad slasher bloody kind. It’s in Yiddish and English. I thought it was very well done, and one to think about. We watched the first season and started the second season of The Break (Netflix, in French), a mystery series set in Belgium. It starts out like the typical show of this sort—a detective with a troubled past comes to a small town and investigates a murder. However, this one really does develop into something else. I don’t want to spoil it, but he is also must confront some inner demons. I really enjoyed season 1, and I’m eager to see how season 2 will play out. I don’t mention all the things I read, but I just finished Before the Ruins, a debut novel by Victoria Gosling. It’s also sort of a mystery with inner demons; a multi-layered book with a bit of a gothic-tinge. The story is slowly revealed, and it shifts back and forth in time. The writing is beautiful. It took me a little while to get into it, but once I was, I was.

42 thoughts on “Uncertain, Capricious: Shots in the Dark”

  1. Great poem…love the line, “Dreams can rise again”. Love the photos of the crocuses! They are such a sweet reminder of spring. After reading this poem and seeing the pictures, I feel like I have already had a morning walk outdoors…and I have not been outside of the house yet! 🙂

  4. Wonderful words that capture so well my cautious optimism as spring comes upon us. I too had my first vaccination last week and psychologically it was as much a shot in the arm as it was physically. Birds are nesting and flowers are starting to bloom–so much new life surrounding us like the warm embrace for which we all long. Yes, “there is still sorrow and dread,” but somehow it feel more bearable, even if the finish line is still far off. Let that light shine in!

    • Thank you so much, Mike! I’m pleased my words expressed what you’re feeling now. Yes, I am also feeling cautious optimism. Congratulations on getting your first shot!

  5. Really lovely. And topped off by the good news about your first doses. It must feel a little strange having different brands :)! Your challah reminds me that yesterday my daughter’s future MIL and FIL gave her the Hadassah Jewish cookbook, hardback, big, beautiful book. They are Italian and had already given her the Italian cookbooks. Well, darned if she didn’t go through it page by page reminiscing and she was so excited at the challah recipe (and hamentaschen which were apricot, cheese, and hazelnut–no poppyseed haha).

    • Thank you, Luanne!
      The whole vaccine situation is strange–people having to go through all sorts of hoops to get them. It actually works out that we have different vaccines because my second one is three weeks, and his is four weeks, so if we have side effects, we won’t be feeling bad at the same time. Both daughters were sick for about a day after their second.
      That was a thoughtful gift from your daughter’s future in-laws. And it sounds like she’s enjoying it. I’m sorry you didn’t get your poppyseed. 😏

      • LOL re the poppyseed!
        I understand about the staggered being positive in that way. Same here. We are a week off. I know I will be sick. I mean, I get sick from the stupid flu vaccine, so why wouldn’t I with 2nd dose Pfizer?

  10. Wonderful poem. You’ve captured the hope of spring. ❤ I'm so glad you were able to get the vaccine. My husband got his first shot about a week ago. I'm not eligible yet, but I'm hoping with the approval of the J&J vaccine that it will be soon.

  13. A cautious optimism is felt throughout. Nice that you both got the vaccines. Another step closer to hopefully being able to live in the world with people again.
    Your spring is so far ahead of ours! Lovely photos, too.

  16. As Derrick notes, the use of rhyme in this Monday musing is particuarly effective. I greatly appreciate the crocus photos. Ours are still weeks away, but the snow is melting, slowly but surely. I’m glad you and your husband were able to get your shots. I get my second on Friday.

  17. Like you say: it’s still the Pandemic and we haven’t been anywhere except…
    Just that makes me feel less alone in all of this. HA!
    The poems and photos are especially inspiring, thanks Merrill!

  18. Cautious optimism feels good after so long in the dark. No flowers coming up yet here, but I’m sure they will be soon. The longer days are already a treat. (K)

  19. Lovely musings Merril thank you! ‘The holding pattern’ aces it. March is a strange month (the Ides of March loom) here in this country as well. It seems summer is still here though there’s a nip in the air in the evenings as we approach autumn. So glad the signs of Spring are around and about on the ground and in the air. And that you’ve had your shot, husband too. I made a note of The Break …

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