Mortal, we
free-fall in life-aches’
whispered, whys.
Dark matter
attracted, but questioning
the spin, the drop–still
carbon-based,
not immortal, but
time-holding–
swallowed stars
coursing through our veins, scattered
light diffused, always
there waiting,
the flame, unknown or
forgotten,
a beacon
within brain, heart, skin–or soul-
dimmed till it’s released.
In a dream,
a blue river shines,
calling me,
and I wake
with the vision remaining.
I send it soaring.
And does it
live on in space-time?
Not human,
not mortal,
but eternally, star-sparked–
circling forever.
A shadorma sequence for Colleen’s Tanka Tuesday, where I chose the theme, “Immortality.” I’m also sharing this with dVerse for Open Link Night, which is live tonight! I really did wake from a dream of a blue river
Yesterday and today: Merril's historical musings 
Tremendously well sculptured and written ink. I loved the imagery which took me to the stars 🙏 Faux
Thank you very much!
I love how you begin with; ‘free-fall in life-aches’ whispered, whys.’ It speaks so much about the beauty of the cosmos as well as unpredictability of living on as a mortal, the highs and lows that shape us and reveal our destiny. 💝💝
Merril: “…Not human, not mortal, but eternally, star-sparked–circling forever…” the blue river dream. All of my senses were on fire with your imagery. This has been a great theme, by the way. ❤
Thank you so much, Colleen! 💙
you have such an amazing way with words –
Wow! Thank you so much, Beth! I appreciate that.
It really did feel like I stepped into a dream. This whole poem just immerses your reader. It’s very beautiful!
Thank you so much, Lucy, for your kind words. I’m pleased you felt that, since writing a form poem adds some restrictions.
Fantastic, Merril! I loved the last line.
Thank you very much, Jill!
The complexity of the university often makes me wish there was something simpler… but at the same time, it’s comforting to know that we know so very little.
Thank you. I think you’re right. I suppose we’d have no questioning –and all that it leads to–if everything was simple.
I know you know that the first image sucks me in. 🙂 But it also puts my mind in the place to take in your deep space nuances. I say, thanks for the philosophical trip with through a touch of sci-fi. Well done, Merril.
Thank you very much, Frank. 😀 I’m pleased you enjoyed it.
How funny that I was going to say exactly what Beth did. You have a gift of putting words together in such a wonderful way!
Thank you so much. It means so much to me to hear that. 💙
You do! I love it.
😘
😘
You’re a real wordsmith Merril.
Huge Hugs
Thank you so much, David! Hugs back!💙
I especially love those stars coursing through us, Merril and was blown away by your reading. I didn’t hear you mention that it’s a shadorma sequence (if you did), so I’m extra awed because shadorma’s one of my fave forms…and you do it soo well. YOWZA!
What a lovely and enthusiastic comment, Ron! Thank you so much. No, I didn’t mention it was a shadorma sequence, but I’m glad you enjoyed it!
We all want to borrow that dream so beautifully described!! I know mothing of shadorma, and I’m going now to learn!
Thank you so much, Beverly. It was a very vivid dream image.
I often have trouble with short syllabic forms, but I like the shadorma because it allows me to use enjambment.
What a lovely thought that we live on.
Thank you very much, Linda!
You’re welcome.
You went deep on this one Merri. “All we are is dust in the wind!” Very good poem!
This immediately made me think of Eric Anderson (and Joni)
“keep us safe from the deep and the dark…” (K)
Thank you very much, Kerfe!
Very nice to hear you read this tonight, Merril. Those last 4 lines, yes!
Thank you so much, Lisa!
You’re welcome 🙂
I am obsessed with the kind of questions you pose here, Merril: I find it fascinating. We can’t be the final word and the limit of everything in the universe! Beautifully versed and read 🙂
Thank you so much, Ingrid. I don’t believe in a biblical god, but I think both that our senses are very limited and also that it’s so unlikely that there is not life elsewhere.
I enjoyed your reading last night, Merril, and love the shape of this shadorma sequence, stretching out like space, the alliterative phrase ‘free-fall in life-aches’ whispered, whys’, so delicately puffed and breathed, and the ‘swallowed stars coursing through our veins’.
Thank you very much for your lovely comment and close-reading, Kim. Open Link was fun–even though Ricky the Cat pushed my computer screen so you could only see the top part of my face for most of my reading. 😀
Most dream-like
Thank you, Derrick.
This is a poem that is best experienced on a subliminal level. Read it, internalize it, and let it bring to light our own swallowed stars.
Thank you very much, Liz. I hope you’re able to do that!
You’re welcome, Merril. Tomorrow is the start of the weekend, so monkey chatter from work banished to give poetry time and space to work its magic!
💙
Very beautiful ❤🌹
Thank you so much!
You’re welcome ❤🌹
~~~ and there it is. That glass of ‘whatever’ ever so tempting. And a lovely poem to boot. Cheers.
I don’t quite understand, but thank you!
Mesmerising poem. Thanks for an amazing theme. 🙂
Thank you so much, and you’re welcome!
Amazing
Thank you!😀
My pleasure.
I like your ending and the question you pose.
And does it
live on in space-time?
Not human,
not mortal,
but eternally, star-sparked–
circling forever.
Thank you so much, Ali!
This is the sort of dream that could easily sustain your through a day, and longer.
Thank you very much, Ken. I don’t even know what the dream was about, I just have that image that I woke up with.
Fabulous poetry, Merril. I haven’t had a dream with blue water for a long time. It would be a refreshing change.
Carbon-based… swallowed stars…right away Joni Mitchel’s song Woodstock snuck in for a visit. Thank you!
“We are stardust
Billion year old carbon
We are golden
Caught in the devil’s bargain
And we’ve got to get ourselves
Back to the garden”
Thank you very much, Resa!
I thought of that song as well.
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Nice post merrildsmith
Thank you.
you are most welcome 🤗
This hits the Interstellar level of the atoms we are made up of! Beautifully expressed Merril! ✨
Thank you so much!